its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
