I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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