I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize