dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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