We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
