oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
