Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
