Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
