youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
