I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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