Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
