I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
