yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
