Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
