well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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