You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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