please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
