i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
