Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
