can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
