That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
