I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
