I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize