It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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