Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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