She went from zero to smokin in five shots
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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