He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
