rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
