She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She bit a glass in half.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
