Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
ttyl tear gas
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
