What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
