He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
