I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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