Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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