...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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