everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
