If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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