This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
