you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You left your phone here
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