wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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