Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
