We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
