i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Semen is not good for contacts.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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