what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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