i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
