I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
