Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
