i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
