who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
