Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
