so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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