after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
