I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize