sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
