By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
