I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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