it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
