you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
