I wish I only lived at night.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We talked him into tasing himself.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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