i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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