Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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