His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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