This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize